Skyrim #4, the happy couple

All hail Skyrim, mighty generator of amusing and bizarre little episodes. This is probably the most absurd one yet.

I was doing a quest for the thieves guild, collecting a few old debts of theirs. One argonian female innkeeper wouldn’t listen to reason, and a fist fight broke out.

Landed a few good punches, and maybe she fell badly on the floor or something, but she unexpectedly passed away. I took the money she owed — our business is hereby concluded, ma’am — and returned to the guild.

They became rather mad, as I wasn’t supposed to kill the target. But you got the money, right? No no, not being cavalier at all, just trying, to… yeah yeah, bad for business, and our sacrosanct code of whatever and all that, but it’s not easy being in the trenches, things go down and, well, you know how it is, and stop that yelling.

To dramatize the exchange a bit.

In any case, their faith in me remained intact, courtesy of Bethesda’s unwillingness to allow failure, since failure might hurt the feelings of kids who are in it for the power fantasy and being the supreme king of winning. But I digress.

Later I returned to the scene of the crime, and now an argonian man was running the inn in her place. Apparently he was her boyfriend, so naturally he wasn’t too happy about what had happened, or about me returning, which he made very clear.

Hadn’t expected this situation. The game came alive for a moment, felt a pang of guilt. But I am the dragonborn, and I am on an important quest to get a shiny and useless platinum, the show must go on.

Then came the quirky turn of events.

His voice softens, eyes becoming dreamy. This was a man deeply and hopelessly in love. He informs me he’s going to marry that woman, and asks whether I would kindly get them some gems for the wedding.

Why yes, that’s the least I can do for having killed the bride.

Probably won’t though, but I like stacking up quests for a rainy day.

A theater should act these scenes out and post it on YouTube.

I‘m done with the game now, playing wise, but I still have a few more posts coming up.